You know how Superman is from the planet Krypton and Batman is from Gotham City? Well, Florida has it’s very own superhero – Florida Man.
But he doesn’t do good deeds or save people from evildoers. No, he does really weird sh*t like robbing a bank, stripping naked and then running down the street throwing money everywhere. Okay, maybe he’s a sort of kooky Robin Hood type?
Nah, dude. Check this out: Florida man armed with live alligator chases people around a convenience store, yelling, “Y’all ain’t out of beer, are ya?” This dude is cray.
Florida man breaks into a house, eats a salad, masturbates and then plays with a toy helicopter. Maybe he’s a bit of a basement dweller?
Florida man hacks a bank and tries to steal $7 billion because “Jesus wanted him to be rich.” Me too, bruh. Me too.
Is Florida Man Actually Florida Woman?
Florida Man is not one person, but the aggregate of all the crazy folks in Florida, including women. A few hits for the ladies:
Florida Woman took meth, then drove a motorized shopping cart around Walmart while drinking wine and eating sushi and cinnamon rolls. This woman is my personal hero. Except for the meth part. Not even once.
Florida Woman tells a judge during her trial for stalking that she’s been dead for 30 years and has mastered the art of immortality. Well, okay then.
Florida Really Isn’t That Weird
Yes, Florida has always been known for bizarre activity and eccentric folks. But all this Florida Man stuff is due to the fact that Florida’s freedom of information laws make it easier for news outlets to access info about arrests in Florida than in other states. Not because Florida is full of weirdos. I swear.